2022.01.24 05:14 3pass_app How I replied to one scammer (Pardon my french!)
2022.01.24 05:14 somethingdownright I broke up with my first girlfriend almost three years ago and I never really forgave myself for it
We’d been together for 5 years from the time we were 14ish-20. We were each other’s first everything. The thing is, for a long time I wasn’t happy in the relationship. I was constantly worried I was missing out on other experiences because of it. She was pretty strictly religious. I wanted to drink, she didn’t. I wanted to have sex, she wanted to wait for marriage. She didn’t even like me cursing really. I didn’t complain. I wanted to respect her wishes so I stuck with it. All of my other friends were doing all the things I wanted to and I listened to them brag about how great of a time they were having. Fast forward to 2018. One night I drive to the next town over just to walk around and get some alone time. By this point we were going to different colleges that were an hour apart and seeing each other every 2-3 weeks at best. She made out with a guy at a party and I wanted to break up with her then. It was especially hard because my grandma had died of cancer shortly before and it was brutal. I practically lived with her as a child and it was a slow awful death that I saw every second of. We took a break, I saw some other people and we got back together. While I’m in town I ask an old acquaintance if there’s anything to do in the city. She says we could grab coffee. We hadn’t seen each other in a while but once we sat down we started talking like we’d been best friends our whole lives. We had a lot in common. Saw things the same way. We ended up staying in that booth talking until the sun came up, and by morning I felt like I had really been seen for the first time. Like someone finally knew me.
New Years Eve 2018, my girlfriend and I lost our virginities to each other. We had a party with a bunch of friends. They were pretty drunk and tried to get into the room during. I was horrified. I never felt more humiliated. Before it happened she told me “this is the last thing I have to give. Are you sure?” I said yes. And ya know, things got better. We were pretty happy. She had lightened up about drinking and all the other things I wanted to do and we were as close to the same wavelength as we’d ever been. I will say that I had been seeming that acquaintance every couple months since we first had coffee. Every time we saw each other we’d talk all night. I looked forward to it more than anything. It was the most genuine one-to-one connection I’ve ever felt with anyone. I can’t describe how incredible it was to have someone that knows what your thinking and you know what their thinking. Just want to stress this, we hadn’t done anything remotely sexual. At all. We didn’t even hug each other when we saw each other. Just talked. Well one night I was over at her place and we were talking like we had before. We were sitting on her back porch smoking cigarettes. This time though, or maybe it was always there but I hadn’t named it until then, but there was this energy between us. We sat in silence but we were both thinking about the same thing. I was shaking. We agreed we were thinking about the same thing. She said it first. “I love you”. I said it back. We kissed. It was eating me alive because I knew what I was doing. I knew what I was doing was awful. I knew that I had waited until me and my girlfriend were actually happy to fall in love with another person. It wasn’t that I had ever stopped loving my gf, it was that I loved two people at the same time. It killed me to know how much it would hurt her. The worst part is that her mom was sick. We didn’t know how sick she was since she was really private about the whole thing. We didn’t even know what was wrong with her really. After a while, I decided that I would always think about how I might have missed being with the only person I ever really knew or that knew me if I stayed with her. So I broke things off. It was the hardest and the worst conversation I’ve ever had in my life. I realized about half way through that her mom was listening at the door as I saw her shadow. She probably got worried since we’d been in the room for a while and she probably heard the crying. When I left she just made a face when I said bye.
That was the last time I’d see my gf’s mother conscious. Shortly after her cancer got too bad to hide and she died. I was there at the hospital when it happened and I was a pallbearer at her funeral. I talked to my ex every day and tried to be there for her as much as possible but of course it wasn’t the same as if we’d been together. I wasn’t what she wanted or needed me to be. It wasn’t a few months after we broke up that the other girl stopped talking to me completely. I wasn’t opposed to getting back with my ex eventually but I still wanted to see other people for a time because I knew if we got back together we would get married. She started dating someone else and so did I. For a while I made my peace with it. I thought I could move on.
January 2020. My roommates and I take acid. I’d taken it three times before and had very positive experiences. This time I got a weaker dose since the plug shortchanged me. Pretty early on I didn’t feel great. Then my brain asked “have you thought about her lately?”. Then lockdown hit. And I never stopped thinking about her. For a year I was near suicidal. Thought about self harm almost daily. I developed an addiction to kratom that I still have. I dated the girl I started seeing post breakup for 2 years until we broke up a few months ago. The truth is she could be manipulative and almost emotionally abusive. Like she literally made me think I was going insane. That coupled with the worst depression I’ve ever had, I started taking TMS which is like electro shock therapy. I tried antidepressants but my Kratom addiction gave me seratonin syndrome when I took them. I have since started Remeron which has actually worked and helped a lot. My ex is now engaged to a hick that I’ve heard horror stories about (eg he broke into this girls house and ran her off the road). The thing is after he made her block me when I texted her happy birthday, we ran into each other. She told me that she didn’t hate me, she never would, that she was still happy for all the time we had together. She still has the book I have her after we broke up. The thing is, I still think about her every day. Even though I’m forgiven I still think about her mom dying thinking of me as the guy who broke her daughter’s heart. I dream about her dumping that guy and marrying her like we thought we would as kids. I know what we had wasn’t perfect but there’s so many things I took for granted then. I now that I would never have loved her this much if I hadn’t lost her. Even though I suspect no one will read this, I had to say it.
submitted by somethingdownright to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2022.01.24 05:14 Technical-Ad9530 Selling these three at my initial cost so I have some funds for LA.
|submitted by Technical-Ad9530 to UplandMe [link] [comments]|
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2022.01.24 05:14 crytoloover Near Road to $20000 || Near Protocol Price Prediction! Near coin today News
|submitted by crytoloover to coinmarketbag [link] [comments]|
2022.01.24 05:14 user2002pc I wish I got dad like him
|submitted by user2002pc to MadeMeSmile [link] [comments]|
2022.01.24 05:14 Arnadus [GFI] Goldfinch. Price 🔥 +10.4% in 1 hour
2022.01.24 05:14 assagitaz The Palindromes - Hybridia (Extended Mix) [Hathōr]
Out Date: 2022-01-21
Quality: MP3 16.59 Mb / AIFF 72.93 Mb
Genre: Melodic House & Techno
The Palindromes - Hybridia (Extended Mix) / (Key F#, BPM 122, Length 6:53)
DOWNLOAD - https://progonlymusic.com/index.php?route=release/release&release_id=529955
submitted by assagitaz to progonlydj [link] [comments]
2022.01.24 05:14 learn_monkey Looking for a learning buddy/study partner
I like to upskill myself. I did 3 associate AWS certifications a couple of years ago but I didn't get good oppurtunities at my work to apply those skills and I don't remember most of it now.
I want to learn about AWS (professional, if possible) and ML parallely. My Python skills are intermediate.
I motivate myself and start to learn but I lose interest and stop it everytime.
If someone who feels the same way and want to learn together with me, we can motivate and learn from each other as well. I want to learn and make use of skillset this time. Most importantly, I wanna learn it in the right way this time, since last time it was mostly to pass the exam and get the certificates.
I am not very smart, I'm a very slow-learner but I am willing to the put the effort.
I will be posting this in other reddit communities.
submitted by learn_monkey to redditdev [link] [comments]
2022.01.24 05:14 Saintmorninggg 29f - looking for others who are going through long term loneliness/social isolation/shyness/etc.
Reading - mostly general fiction & high school/university reading lists (Sisters Brothers, Lord of the Flies, Brave New World... they're normally high quality).
Main interests: anime, games, art.
2022.01.24 05:14 Moist_Imagination703 What is your favorite part of your job?
2022.01.24 05:14 Sugmii Best league for loot
2022.01.24 05:14 theoneandonlyheather part 1
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2022.01.24 05:14 Obsidian__Wolf Content tag help
Hello, I just started a nee sub recently and I did the mod survey for content tags and I messed it up and my sib is now labeled as X (sexually explict). I want an M for mature as the sub is a non nudity sub that deals mostly with memes etc. Is there a waybto fix this??
submitted by Obsidian__Wolf to modhelp [link] [comments]
2022.01.24 05:14 Vinodpanchal7 Sport
2022.01.24 05:14 feeelyelloww Does anyone take vyvanse in addition to Wellbutrin? Does it work for you / adhd?
2022.01.24 05:14 Shaagriel Cozy after a shower
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2022.01.24 05:14 Cloutless__ CBT 1.0 supposedly Anemo dps artifact, the 2 pc I think is 40 enemy anemo resistance and the 4pc one handed sword two handed sword polearm get 40% plunging dmg can anybody do research on this.
2022.01.24 05:14 Lodanxd crits?
2022.01.24 05:14 princessrippla335 Can anyone telling me what does question mark do I found it inside the ear when I'm in the middle of the game I need everyone to telling me about this question mark.
|submitted by princessrippla335 to rustylake [link] [comments]|
2022.01.24 05:14 TreeBearOne A city at night can give you a sense of connection without actually connecting with people
2022.01.24 05:14 Spikey987 Overheating randomly
So yesterday (1/23) my pc was shutting off a lot, which caught me off guard. The previous days and weeks it has been perfectly fine, but starting at 3am it started booting up, crashing over and over again. While writing this I have 3 tabs open on Firefox, HWmonitor, Blitz, and Reliability. HW is saying my pc is going from about 55 to 65, over and over again. In bios I am only getting 3 fans. None of which being CPU fans yet the CPU fans are spinning and feeling on the outside of the case, I can feel it is cold. I have 5 fans in this pc (not including GPU with 2), with 2 being for water cooling and the other 3 being from case itself. Has anyone had this problem or know a way I can fix this? Thank you and stay safe
submitted by Spikey987 to buildapc [link] [comments]
2022.01.24 05:13 alextheswaglord Is Fiat-Money a dominant strategy over hard money like bitcoin?
There is one thing that bothers me with bitcoin: Isn't inflation a game-theoretical prisoner's dilemma? If I can gain a short- to medium-term technological advantage over other states by "printing" tons of Fiat Money, opting out of a hard money system is a dominant strategy.
F.e. The US abandoned the gold standard to maximize their ressources on war.
My question is: Why should a state decide to get rekt by other states short term when FIAT makes you like unstoppable?
The only solution I see is that Bitcoin has to be adopted worldwide without even 1 state sticking to Fiat. And I dont think this is likely.
Prove me wrong please!
prisoners dilemma: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prisoner%27s_dilemma
submitted by alextheswaglord to Bitcoin [link] [comments]
2022.01.24 05:13 sockthedinosaur How’s it goin gamers? [Chat]
Idk I’m bored. Msg me if ur bored too. I like should probably go to bed but it’s ok cause I’m a genius and figured out a life hack. Instead of sleeping at night, you just bring a pillow and blanket to school! Holy shit… I mean crap I’m so smart. Senioritus takin over. I’m M18 brw uh yeh so go. ok bye
submitted by sockthedinosaur to MeetPeople [link] [comments]
2022.01.24 05:13 Old_Truth6995 We Can Get A Bit Weird #comedy #twitchstreamer #onlyfans #sexy #womenempowerment